


If You Love Something, Never Let It Go

by orphan_account



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fluff., M/M, Reunions, fluff?, its been four years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yet another four years have passed since Shion last saw Nezumi. Four years of waiting for him to return, and Shion's giving up on all hopes of ever seeing him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Love Something, Never Let It Go

Shion rose before the sun did that morning, stretching his stiffening limbs, earning a few cracks and pops here and there. He looked outside the window into the darkness of the early morning, his eyes still weary from his restless sleep. Well, he wouldn’t consider it restless. It was more...empty. Empty of thoughts, empty of feelings, empty of energy, empty of time, and worst of all, he was empty of patience. He was empty of the patience that fueled his heart, the patience that fueled his hope that one day, _one day_ , Nezumi would come back to him. That one day he would get to see that smug grin plastered upon those familiar (so familiar) lips, or the comfort in those dark eyes of his. That one day, he would get to feel the warmth of his touch against his skin, or fall asleep in his arms to the beat of his heart. Even if he only got to see the slightest glimpse of Nezumi for only a moment, even a fraction of a second, it’d be a moment he’d cherish for the rest of his life. Now, all Shion had to rely on was memories, and memories just weren’t enough anymore.

But just as his mother always told him, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, then it’s meant to be. But if it doesn’t, then it was never yours in the first place.” Shion ignored this thought for the four years he’d been parted from Nezumi, because he still had patience, hope, that they’d reunite one day. Now, Shion was filled with nothing, and this nothing was affecting his every action. Shion began moving slower around the bakery, lazily taking orders and serving people with a lifeless disposition, his normally vibrant rosy eyes became as lifeless and hazed as those of a deceased being. This worried Karan deeply, but she knew of nothing to help her son recover. She knew of no medicine to help heal the white haired boy of his broken heart.

But there was one thing to cure it. One obvious solution to miraculously mend poor Shion’s shattered heart, was Nezumi. The dark haired rat who Shion had fallen so hard for, but was too late, too dense, to realize it.

And he hated himself for it. He hated himself for not holding on to somebody like Nezumi, for making his poor mother worry, for the way his heart always sank when he woke to a cold, vacant bed with only one member instead of two-the way it should be.

But that’s the way things were going to be now, and that’s the way it was going to be forever. Shion just had to accept it.

But it wasn’t that easy. Shion could never apply himself to love anyone as much as he loves Nezumi and that is something that would never change. Despite the countless dates that Karan has set him up with, there was always a small hope that Nezumi was out there, looking for him, wanting what he wants. But now, that hope has burned out into nothingness- something that Shion was so full of these days.

Shion shook his head as if to erase these thoughts clouding his mind. Just a simple shake of his head obviously wouldn’t do the trick, so he decided to set up the shop early, lessening the amount of work for his mother to do.

So he (reluctantly) drags himself out of the comfort of his bed and slinks quietly down the stairs to the bottom floor, where the bakery resides. Racks of freshly cooked breads and sweets that he and his mother baked yesterday lay in the storage unit of the small bakery. Shion set out to retrieve them, placing them carefully in the display window at the front of the store, out for all passer-byers to take note of.

 _The only person I want to pass by is-_ Shion shook his head again, cutting off his own thought. He turned and sighed, returning to his routinely everyday tasks to ready the bakery for hungry customers. Although slow, Shion finished his cleaning and setting up just as the first few rays of fresh sunlight began to shine over the distant horizon, reaching out for miles and miles on end. Shion...smiled, for the first time in weeks, at the brilliant array of yellows and oranges emitted from such a wondrous sight. He sat there, content with himself just watching as the sun make its slow, ever so slow, ascend into the beautiful morning sky. He’d never had this feeling before- this feeling of happiness. But alas, it would never truly be full happiness without he-who-should-not-be-named here beside him, smiling and watching along in utter silence. Shion closed his eyes, imagining this moment as if he were with Nezumi, sitting in silence, and simply enjoying each other's company.

But it was no use.

He needed to accept the fact that Nezumi would never come back, that he’d probably….moved on.

And it was time he did too. Shion took a deep, elongated breath in, bringing in the aroma of freshly baked pastries, shutting his eyes once more.

“Beautiful sight, isn’t it?”

 _Wait...what? What?_ This voice, although somewhat rougher and bolder than usual, belonged to none other than…

But it couldn't be… Shion must be hearing things. It’s the only logical explanation for this voice. It was only in his head.

“What, I don’t get a  ‘hello’ or anything?” There it was again! But there’s no way it could possibly be...could it?

There was only one way to find out, and that was to open his eyes. Slowly, Shion separated his lids, allowing his deep rosy eyes to peer just through the tiny slits in his eyes, but they widened greatly as he saw him.

And this time, it was really _him_!

His dark hair fell loosely in strands around his face from its normal updo, his eyes as solid as ever. That same smirk that Shion grew so fond of over the past eight years spread widely across his lips.

The past eight years.

Shion used the term lightly,as if it was nothing. But it wasn’t. It was so much more than just eight years knowing Nezumi. It was eight years _knowing Nezumi_. Eight years since that rebellious VC charged into his home, and changing Shion’s life forever. Eight years knowing such a beautifully talented person, who, in Shion’s eyes, was absolutely perfect in every way imaginable. It was eight years that took Shion to realize how much Nezumi really meant to him. But now, Shion knows that these eight years will not be where their story will begin, but where a new story unfolds. One that includes both of them, together, for as long as they both want. As long as they both need.

Tears sprang to the corners of Shion’s widened eyes. “Nezumi…” He whimpered before hazardously running, God he’s never run that fast in his life, towards Nezumi as if his very life depended on it. He slung himself into Nezumi’s chest, wrapping his arms around Nezumi’s shoulders, holding on until his knuckles turned white, afraid that if he released his grip, that Nezumi would blow away, like a gust of wind. Nezumi took several steps backward, finally gaining his balance and supporting the white haired boy, laughing heartily. It was insane how much Shion loved that laugh.

Nezumi had grown significantly taller over these four years, to where the crown of Shion’s head met only to Nezumi’s lips. Shion now had to stand on his toes just to hug him! There was no surprise there.

“Hah! S’nice to see you, too, shorty.” Nezumi spoke into the mess that was Shion’s hair, his hands placed on Shion’s hips, supporting him incase he fell or fainted, which was likely to happen at any given moment. Shion didn't say anything, didn’t even bother to breath, in fear that this was all just some sick, twisted image his mind made up. Another mirage. He couldn’t take it…

“Ne-...” He only managed to choke out that much before his throat closed up again.

“Shion, you can let go now. I’m not going anywhere, promise.” Nezumi said, this time making an attempt to snake out of Shion’s grasp. Shion complied, and believed his words to be true, backing off of him, giving him enough room to breathe, but not to run away. he wasn’t leaving again-not if Shion had anything to say about it. He gazed up into the greyish-blue pools of color that was Nezumi’s eyes.

“How did you…?” Shion barely managed to choke out.

Nezumi encased both of Shion’s hands in his own, tracing small circles of the backs of Shion’s hands with his thumbs.”How did I find you?” Nezumi finished, seeming to read Shion’s mind “Decided it was time I payed a certain someone a visit, and these little guys helped me find you.” Cravat and Hamlet scurried up to rest on Nezumi’s shoulder, earning a laugh from the smaller boy.

“You came all that way… You must be starving.” Shion said, shaking his head again and slipping his hands from Nezumi’s grasp to go retrieve an extra pastry or a slice of pie for his companion. A hand took hold of his arm just as he began to walk away.

“Idiot. I didn’t come here to eat.” Nezumi’s raspy tone stopped Shion in his place.

“B-But you came all this way and-...”

“Yea, I came all this way to see you, not to stop and chow down at your little bakery place.” Shion’s face was a lovely shade of red at this point.

And there they stood. Two boys finally reunited after four years. Four long, tiresome years and here they were, the only thing either of them could do was look into each other’s eyes, listening to each other. They talked without words, it was just how their relationship worked. Every movement between the two spoke something that only they knew its meaning of, that only they understood.

And that was another thing Shion had missed about him. The way they worked together so imperfectly perfect, speaking without words, talking without sound.

Nezumi smiled, pulling Shion close to him again, closer than two people considered ‘just friends’ should be, Nezumi’s unwavering grasp on Shion’s shoulders, keeping him in place.

“Been a while since we’ve seen each other. I expected to see two or three little kids running around here.”

“You weren’t gone _that_ long.” Shion states, finally able to speak clearly, (although not very loudly) without stuttering.

“Oh? You want me gone long-”

“No! Th-That’s not what I meant…” Shion brought his hands up and grasped Nezumi’s shirt, resting his head on his chest. His face heated up quickly, his heart racing wildly.

“Shion…?”

“Shut up! You don’t know what it was like, seeing you walk away from me and leaving me for four years. For the second time, Nezumi.” Something welled up inside of Shion at this moment, something Shion had never felt before, something new, that caused everything in his body, every inch of him, to burn in a sudden overwhelming sense of pain.

He was breaking.

Four years of holding everything in, four years of utter despair and pain, all leading up to this one moment. This one moment where he had the chance to let it all flow out, every word, everything he hid, everything he wanted to say but never got the chance to. Now was his chance. Now was the time where he could release these pent up emotions, these feelings trapped inside of him, these feelings that pressured his mind, his body, fighting to be freed. Now was his chance to tell Nezumi how he truly felt, and once he started, he couldn’t seem to stop.

“I-I thought that we’d stay together, that I’d never have to go through the pain of seeing you leave again. I thought it was you and me against the world, Nezumi. But you left. A-And I wanted to call out to you. I wanted to run to you and tell you-no, _beg_ you to stay with me. But if you love something, you should set it free, right? That’s what we were taught as kids, right? So that’s what I did. I bit my tongue and let you walk away because... because I love you, Nezumi!” There it was. The four year confession was finally brought out into the world. Shion took in a deep breath, tears sliding down his cheeks. he continued; “I..love you. And not in a platonic way, or not in a friendly way either. I love you. More than anything in this world. A-And you drove me crazy! I always waited, everyday, for you to return to me. For you to come back to me. But I gave up, Nezumi. I gave up because I knew you’d never think of me in that way. I gave up because I’d thought you’d never return, that I’d never see you again. I gave up because you’ve moved on, haven’t you?” Shion whimpered a bit as he could feel the pain bearing down on his chest as he reflected on the past years.  “D-Do you remember the day you left? When you turned around and ran back to me to kiss me? Nezumi, did that kiss...mean _anything_ to you?” Shion looked up, streaks of crystal tears glistened in the morning light. He awaited Nezumi’s answer, but was surprised to see the taller boy staring down at him, a sense of guilt obvious on his face. Nezumi didn’t answer, but Shion continued anyway. “Because it meant something to me. It showed me that it wasn’t the end. That maybe you’d return…” Shion sniffled and wiped at his tears before speaking once more. “And you did. You came back. You’re here now, but I know you won’t stay. I know you’re just going to leave again just like you did when we were kids. Just like you did four years ago. Just like I know you will now.” Shion paused again, taking in another deep breath. “So why don’t you already go, Nezumi?! Why don’t you leave now and save me the pain of having to watch you walk away again.” Shion looked deep into Nezumi’s eyes. His bright pinks filled with anger, despair, loneliness, all of these things Nezumi could see just by looking into Shion’s eyes.

“JUST GO!” Shion shouted, using both of his hands to push himself away from Nezumi’s chest. He wanted to get away from Nezumi. He couldn’t bear the pain anymore, his heart was shattering more and more as the minutes went by.Tears spilled down Shion’s face, blurring his vision and causing him to trip. Shion fell to his knees just a few feet away from Nezumi, who was too stunned to even talk. He felt...little, unimportant. He felt as if the world had come tumbling down on him. He hid his face in his hands and sobbed quietly, waiting for Nezumi’s footsteps to go out of the door and walk away, forever this time. Instead, Nezumi just kneeled in front of Shion, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder. He could tell Shion was in pain, God it must hurt so bad. And Nezumi felt awful for hurting someone as precious as Shion.

“No.” Nezumi simply replied. “No. I didn’t leave you because I wanted to or because I felt like it. I left because I was holding you back, Shion. I kept you from everything that you loved. Haven’t you realized that? If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have lost your home, or Sapphu, and you wouldn’t have to live at this crappy old bakery here. You deserve someone better than me, Shion. That’s why I left.” Nezumi’s voice didn’t waver. Shion couldn’t see his expression, but knew what he was feeling. He felt remorse, guilt. He wasn’t proud of his actions and wasn’t afraid to admit that. His rough hands dug hard into Shion’s shoulders, something Nezumi did unconsciously.

“Well who said I wanted anything better?” Shion snapped back, bringing his head from his hands to look up at Nezumi, who also seemed to be on this brink of tears.

Nezumi smiled in return, pressing his forehead to Shion’s. “As stubborn as ever…” He muttered before bringing his lips close, _so close_ , to Shion’s, close enough to feel the smaller boy’s faint breaths against his lips, but not close enough to touch them together, like both of them so desperately wanted.

Not yet, at least.

It was only a test to see if one would pull away, both boys knew this. Both boys resisted the urge to close the gap, but retained themselves from doing so in the fear that the other would pull away. Another unspoken form of their communication.

 _What are we waiting for?_ Shion thought, going the extra mile and (finally) closing the gap. The gap was the last thing that would fully bring the two together, and feeling the sensation of Nezumi’s lips after the lifetime that they were parted was absolute bliss. Shion felt faint breaths dance warmly across his cheek. Nezumi grazed his tongue across Shion’s bottom lip, requesting access. Shion granted quickly, allowing the other inside with a soft sigh of contentment.

He felt Nezumi’s grip on his shoulders loosen, and Nezumi’s wandering hands danced gently down Shion’s arms, sending chills shooting up his back. Nezumi’s hands grazed over Shion’s before grabbing them both and lifting Shion’s hands to his neck, wrapping his arms around Nezumi’s broad shoulders once again. But Nezumi wasn’t done there.

His hands snaked and slithered around the smaller boy’s waist, pulling Shion up into his lap. Shion complied, basically melting in Nezumi’s grasp. He straddled Nezumi’s legs, sitting comfortably in his lap.

Shion tangled his hand in Nezumi’s dark hair, wanting to be closer to him. He wanted so many things at that moment, so many wishes and hopes to be fulfilled by Nezumi since their four year split. He wanted the other to hold him and read to him until he fell asleep. He wanted to hear Nezumi’s heart beat as he drifted in and out of consciousness. He wanted to wake up and still be there, encased in the warmth that was Nezumi.

But this was all they could do for now. And this was good enough for now.

Due to a lack of oxygen, Shion leaned his head back, allowing both to fill their lungs with the sweet sensation of air. They panted lightly, keeping both of their faces close together, neither wanting to stray too far away from the other.

“Nezumi...Promise me you’ll stay. At least for now.” Shion said, his eyes threatening tears again.

“How am I supposed to say no that face?” Nezumi spoke in a deep tone, bringing his thumb up to trace over the light pink stripe wrapping around his cheek.

Shion pouted, not accepting that answer as what he wanted.

“I promise, Shion. I will never leave you again.” Nezumi said, pressing a light kiss onto the top of Shion’s mousey nose. Shion giggled gently in return, staring straight back into Nezumi’s eyes with a sense of admiration, a sense of compassion and lust burned deeply in his retinas. Nezumi’s saw this and returned the same look, their eyes speaking louder than any other words possibly could.

The sense grew too much for Nezumi to handle, he placed firm hands around the small of Shion’s back, bringing the smaller boy closer for yet another kiss. He kissed Shion deeply, as if it was their last.

But they both knew it wouldn’t be the last. It was the first. The first kiss in the new chapter of their lives together, and Nezumi couldn’t be happier to spend it with anyone other than Shion.

The last four years of emotional pain and suffering washed away. Everything he believed, everything he hoped, everything he wanted, needed, everything he could ever wish for was washed away with every soft touch that Nezumi bestowed upon him. Despite everything he was told, everything he was forced to believe in the past few years, was all gone. The emptiness, the pain, the darkness and loneliness was all gone. His prince was finally here.

Karan’s voice lingered in the back of his head like an annoying fly.

“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, then it’s meant to be. But if it doesn’t, then it was never yours in the first place.”

If you love something, you should set it free, right?

Wrong.

If Shion has learned anything is the past years, anything at all, it would be that;

If you love something, you shouldn’t set it free. You should hold onto it, as if your life depended on it. You should cherish them, and

**Never let go.**

**Author's Note:**

> Yea sorry for the sucky summary. Wasn't my best.  
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story! I know I could've done better but oh well.  
> I'm currently working on a new piece so that's something to look forward to?? I guess?  
> Ah whatever.  
> ~E


End file.
